Only a couple of more classes left to my Stand-up Comedy class at Santa Monica College. My stand-up comedy teacher wants me to be more conversational and less theatrical when I deliver my bits. My husband said, “Is he asking you to be more white and less Dominican?” Aliza on Stupid Questions I am a… Continue reading Stand-up Comedy Routine #4
I farted during my first stand-up comedy class. And no one laughed. I knew I shouldn’t have had that butter over my baked potato for dinner. But I did. I had it. And I had it without protection. Lactaid pills are so expensive and so every now and then, I take risks. As you well… Continue reading My first stand-up comedy class
Rebecca Rubin Okay, so American Girl created a Jewish doll. Her name is Rebecca Rubin and not all her outfits are tznius (modest). She’s growing up in New York City in 1914, right around when my great-grandmother was born. She’s a Russian Jewish girl who wants to “stay true to her heart as she follows… Continue reading The Jewish American Girl doll meets the Dominican American Girl doll
Now, it’s time to go turn into a pumpkin. At least, that’s the funny phrase my sisters came up with for what happens when I cut away from the world (no phones, no Internet, nothing but Torah)! for a Jewish holiday or for Shabbat. It’s rainy, I haven’t had enough exercise and my whole body… Continue reading Happy Shavuot!
Isn’t it confusing? Won’t it be confusing for your children? People constantly ask me these questions. They think being Dominican, American and Jewish sounds really complicated. Mostly, they’re trying to put a damper on my multicultural mojo. So here I am in Los Angeles for Pesach (Passover) stocking up on yucca and plantains so I… Continue reading Cultural Confusion
Okay, so I’m Dominican but I think my husband is a militant Dominican. What do I mean? I think he’s about force fed everyone in the family some yucca and plantains this Pesach. And no, I didn’t cook any of it. He cooked the stuff himself. It’s all part of his make-sure-wife-doesn’t-starve-without-rice-and-beans plan. Now, if… Continue reading Militant Dominican
Twittering before, during, after the wedding:Going to a wedding today. Separate seating for men and women. Sheitels and fancy hats will abound. Will try not to wear a sack. 9:40 AM Mar 22nd from web My father-and sister-in-law are in town for the wedding and passed out on our couches. Because I am not social… Continue reading What I hate about being an Orthodox Jew OR How My Rastafarian Beret Came to Represent Rabbi Avi Weiss, HIR and YCT
1. Old Testament–Just offensive. We prefer the original and only testament. (But calling it the Hebrew Bible is okay, too.) 2. Can I see your horns? 3. Have you considered Jesus as your personal savior? 4. Why do you hate Palestinians? 5. How come you only eat food blessed by a rabbi? Can’t you just… Continue reading What not to say to Jews
I probably started drinking coffee out of a baby bottle. As a kid, I drank it after meals and mixed it in my milk for breakfast after late nights. When I discovered Starbucks as an adult, I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get a caffeine fix from it. That’s when someone tipped me off that… Continue reading Cafe con leche, por favor!
Who would have thought I would ever see the world? The first time I stepped out of the tristate area was to get married in a place I’d never been to before, Connecticut. Okay, actually, I had also been to Orlando, Florida to see Mickey with my aunt and even Pennsylvania to visit the Liberty… Continue reading Italy Trip Recap: The World in My Stomach
Memoirs of a Jewminicana 