Okay, so I’m Dominican but I think my husband is a militant Dominican. What do I mean? I think he’s about force fed everyone in the family some yucca and plantains this Pesach. And no, I didn’t cook any of it. He cooked the stuff himself. It’s all part of his make-sure-wife-doesn’t-starve-without-rice-and-beans plan.

Now, if I can just get childproof caps for my painkillers so I don’t have to worry about my six-year-old sister-in-law hiding chametz again in the midst of my pills next year, I think we’ll be just fine.