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What not to say to Jews

1. Old Testament–Just offensive. We prefer the original and only testament. (But calling it the Hebrew Bible is okay, too.)

2. Can I see your horns?

3. Have you considered Jesus as your personal savior?

4. Why do you hate Palestinians?

5. How come you only eat food blessed by a rabbi? Can’t you just bless the food to make it kosher? (Kosher food is NOT blessed by a rabbi.)

6. Do you have sex through a hole in a sheet? (See tzizit.)

7. Why do your women shave their heads and wear wigs? (Married women cover their hair. Most of them don’t shave their heads. There’s hair under those wigs.)

8. You killed Jesus!

9. Why do you think eating pork is evil? (Pigs aren’t kosher. They’re not evil.)

10. Orthodox Jewish specific: Are you hot under all those clothes?

Do you have any ideas for additions to the list? Can you think of other “what not to say” lists?

9 thoughts on “What not to say to Jews

  1. Isn’t Chanukah your Christmas?What’s that cracker thing you eat?Do you miss having Christmas/Easter/whatever (can’t miss what you never had)And…my 13 year old daughter was talking about ethnicity in her social studies class and revealed to the class that she is English (as in, ancestors from England). The response? We thought you were Jewish!So funny, I’m working on a “what not to say to single moms list.” Oy, can you imagine a list of what not to say to Jewish single moms? LOL!


  2. Not that offensive but, they do ask about the “beanies” the guys wear and I was asked how the guys get them to stay on. I’m working on a list of what Jews shouldn’t say to someone who’s in the process.


  3. hmmm I think I would prefer hearing “the old testament” then the hebrew bible. But the I think the worst was being told that i’m not “open minded” for not wanting to understand why my old friend admired hitler.


  4. More for the list:-Don’t come up to me and just say “SHALOM!” I’m not impressed, I don’t generally greet even Jews that way, and my native language is English-Are you Shomer Shabbos? (Asked by those who have seen “The Big Lebowski”)-Do you miss shrimp/pork/ham? (No, never had it…)-What’s it like being Jewish? (Exactly how long of a conversation do you want to have?)-Why don’t you believe in Jesus? -Jews are going to hell! (Are you referring to the multiplicity of persecutions we face on this planet, or your conception of the afterlife?)-Keeping kosher is all about [physical]health. (Ummm, no…)-How can you believe in a God who allows [insert bad thing here] to happen?-Does that mean you can’t go into a church? (Fair question, and the answer is “Depends…,” but it’s kind of annoying after a while)-You people are weird! (Thank you, Captain Obvious!)


  5. – Old Testament always bugs me – especially from a dedicated Christian – it is a lovely way to excuse themselves from adhering to it too– “the Jews” always seems to point out the person writing or speaking about people they have never met– “Do you still slaughter lambs on passover?”– “where are your horns?”– “You people are … ?”– “Do you want to come to my pig roast? or How about the clam bake? And the lobster boil will be fantastic?”


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