books and reading · culture/multiculturalism · Jews/Jewish/Judaism/Orthodox Judaism · religion

Hilarious New Blog to Follow!

On a day-to-day basis, I am ALWAYS behind on my reading. I’m inundated by news articles, magazines, newsletters so it’s hard to keep up with blogs. Thankfully, Twitter followers also tip me off when there’s something I just HAVE TO read.

@MaNishtana is new to Twittering and blogging he’s making quite a splash. The self-described “Black. Jewish. 100% both. Ffb. 5th generation. Im like a unicorn mixed with a dragon. That can whistle. Black jews are the new black” is always Tweeting something interesting and blogging something hilarious.

Notable posts to check out:

In “Urban Parsha,” MaNishtana turns the weekly Torah portion on it’s head by making it “just like regular Torah, but ghetto.” If you can understand the lingo, then you’ll be laughing right out of your seat. If you’ve got no sense of humor, you’ll find it too hot to handle.

In “An Open-So-called Letter,” MaNishtana addresses Hebrew-Israelites in a scathing letter about their effect on black Jews. He wants to know when G-d ordered them to “dress in a manner as if thou art the bastard offspring of a threesome between the power rangers, the village people, and lawrence of arabia.” I can’t help thinking I never want to get on this guy’s bad side.

I honestly didn’t realize how ghetto I was until I read his Urban Parsha. I only had to look up one word. G-d bless Urban Dictionary.

4 thoughts on “Hilarious New Blog to Follow!

  1. Oh goodness, that urban ghetto parsha was funny.

    I was brought back to my 11th grade computer networking class. My high school was composed of students from about 150 countries, but due to some insane demographic madness, the computer networking class was composed almost exclusively of black ghetto-ish/urban-ish folks (G-d help me – is there a politically-correct way to say what I just did?), along with two or three WASPs and about two Jews.

    So class was interesting. A typical exchange would go something like…
    Teacher: Y'all gots an exam now.
    Student: Oh man, I can't fade this junks.
    Teacher: Shut up nigga and take yo test.

    The class was divided into two class periods; the first would be in a conventional classroom doing paperwork, and the second half would be in a computer lab, with everyone working on networking his own computer. On more occasions than I can count, one of the black students would start playing rap music on his phone, and everyone would start dancing.

    I'm not making any of this up. They even tried to teach me some slang. I can't speak it very well, but at least I can understand it relatively well.


  2. Even Hispanic people will start dancing if there's music on the phone. It's one of the jokes in a “You know you're Dominican when…” video that Spanish people will dance even if there isn't music playing.

    The teacher used “nigga”? Oh man, I hope he was black. I would have been lynched if I'd ever used that word and my hair is a testament to the amount of African in me.


  3. The teacher was black, yeah. He even generally talked with the laid-back Ebonics tone of voice, as in, “So y'all gonna get chuselves some ethernet cables and put the jacks on 'em.”

    But it was even funnier when you compared him to the other computer teacher. This black class I've been discussing was the second year class, to get Cisco CCNA. But the first year class was to get CompTia A+, and the teacher was Mr. Kaplan, the nerdiest person who's ever lived. Half the kids in the class were ghetto Latinos and blacks, and the other half was Asians who acted like they were ghetto Latinos or blacks. So everyone gagged when Mr. Kaplan told a joke, except for me; I absolutely adored him, probably because he's exactly what I'll probably be in another two or three decades. My favorite joke of his was when he'd say to a new student, “You want to see my G-string hanging in my office?”, and then he'd take the student to his office, and show a plain string hanging in his office with the letter “G” taped to it.

    Regarding music and dancing, see Dave Chappelle's take here.


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