art · babies and pregnancy · Jews/Jewish/Judaism/Orthodox Judaism · Riverdale · writing

Lost

Thanks to everyone who gave me feedback on the short story. The contest deadline is January 25th so I hope to have a finished piece out then to the Bronx Council of Arts.

In other news:

Binny Freedman, director of Isralight, spoke at KJ, where we went for Shabbat. I miss the UES. He gave a moving speech about many things but the thing that stuck with me was about being lost. I feel lost. I’m not sure who I’m supposed to be or what I’m supposed to be doing. And that’s something very new to me. Not having a purpose. He says you can can’t really find yourself until you know what you want and you’re willing to do anything to get there. Then, if it’s meant to be, it happens and if it’s not, it’s not and you find another goal, another purpose.

All my friends live there and my favorite Jewish community is there. Riverdale is so boring. It’s funny of mommies and babies (and no offense to anyone), that’s just not a circle I’m ready to be in. If anyone, whenever I see a legion of mommies and babies together, I just want to run the other way! And often, if this Shabbos is any example, I do run the other way.

Drisha turned me down for the Arts Fellowship I wanted to land for next year. Basically, if you’re an artist, they give you a $10,000 stipend for the year and tuition remission. I would get to work on writing and work on learning more Jewish stuff. The dream. The bubble burst Thursday when they told me I wasn’t accomplished enough (or far along in my “artistic” career”) to merit a fellowship. Thanks but no thanks.

My brother-in-law came for a visit right after Shabbos and bounced around the apartment which was a nice treat. I like hearing about the world he lives in because it’s so different from mine. Every time he comes over it’s like we’re two aliens in outerspace visiting each other’s planets. I haven’t really visited his, he learns at a yeshiva in Far Rockaway, but I hope to do so soon.

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