I have a lot to write and not a lot of energy to write it all. I think I’m finally almost starting to feel normal again after nearly two weeks of battling a cold/flu that wreaked havoc on my body, a body that already has to fight daily against fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue.
I had high hopes to inundate you with tons of cool Chanukkah posts and responses to all the conversion news that’s cropping up. But instead, I’ve been spending a lot of time curled up in bed, sick and thinking about where I am in life.
For the past year and a half, I’ve made it my mission to get something up here on the blog on a daily basis. It’s literally a full-time job and a daunting one. Because even when I’m not generating a lot of deep, thoughtful posts, I’m swimming in Jewish content that piles up in my inbox that I want to share with you.
Always, I’m fighting my body to get this blog done. Any time I spend on the computer is excruciating and hard on my body. And I don’t think people realize that. I don’t think I realize it and there have been too many times where I chose my blog over my body and I don’t think I can do that anymore.
Blogging has really changed for me since freelance writing and speaking have become jobs for me. But I think what really changed my blog most was that I stopped being anonymous and friends, family and even my rabbi began starting conversations with this disclaimer: “By the way, this is off the record.”
Despite always being an open person, I’ve had to become much more careful about what I share on my blog and I realize there are weeks where I don’t share anything personal on my blog and like this past week, focus on content I find elsewhere that would interest readers who don’t spend as much time culling Jewish resources as I do. So, in a funny way, the blog isn’t always a memoir of a Jewminicana but a blog of “what a Jewminicana reads.”
This blog has given me so many opportunities and connected me to so many awesome Jews, and even non-Jews, all over the world. One of the things that has kept me inspired when I have had troubles acclimating in the Jewish community has been you, not just my readers but a community I built for myself when I felt like I didn’t have one and I wasn’t sure where I fit.
But I think I have to take a step back. I’ve already taken a step back from freelance writing, from writing my book and I think its time to take a step back from blogging. I think if I’m going to continue doing it, I have to get back to a point where it wasn’t a job, where it wasn’t a deadline looming over my head but a place where I came to share my thoughts on my journey to live my life as the best Jewminicana I can be.
In the next few weeks, I’ll be trying to fully recover from my cold/flu/nastiness and try to get a handle on the rest of my life. If I wade through my inbox, I might get a chance to comment on the latest conversion news but I think my first priority is going to be making sure I get some rest, some fluids and some exercise.
Thank you, my faithful readers, for making this an awesome and rewarding blog!