Thank you for being my friend. Here are some guidelines so that our friendship can be a pleasurable experience for all of us.
Please don’t make fun of gay people.
Please don’t tell ask me why I don’t straighten my hair.
Please don’t make fun of Mexican people or how Hispanics pronounce English words.
Please don’t start conversations about how Obama is a socialist and then add that you think he’s a Muslim terrorist and that he was born in a different country.
Please don’t make comments about how “those black people” are always “pulling the race card” and that Al Sharpton is their “crazy leader.”
Please don’t repeatedly refer to me as “sexy Latina” instead of my name.
If you don’t understand why any of these statements or actions are inappropriate, please don’t ever speak to me again. It’s safer that way. For both of us.