People tell you to stop screaming when you’re really talking.
You grew up afraid of something called “El Cuco”.
You clap your hands while laughing.
You’re able to dance without any music.
You learned how to dance merengue and bachata before you could walk.
You point things out with your nose and mouth.
You’ve gotten beat with any of the following: rubber slippers, extension cord, hanger (plastic or metal), big rice spoon, etc.
You waste ALL your money in the summer time buying “frio-frio”.
You’ve gone outside in rolos (hair rollers) and chancletas (flip-flop).
Your parents go to a little room in the back of your local bodega “pa juga lo numero” (play the lotto numbers)of DR.
You consider platanos one of the major food groups.
You can smell chuletas cooking in your house from down the block.
While in your country, you hear people on the block yelling “se fue la luz!” (The lights went out! This is always happening the Dominican Republic.)
You grew up listening to Fernandito Villalona, Sergio Vargas, and Juan Luis Guerra.
Your dad or uncle claims to be dead broke, yet rocks a cell phone and has mad gold around his neck and wrists.
You drink Presidente, Brugal, or Mama Juana like WATER.
You have at least 3 porcelain figurines in your living room.
Your sofas are covered in plastic.
All the juices you have in your house are the type that come in powder, and you just mix with water, like Tang.
You eat Mangu on a daily basis.
You ate rice, beans and some type of meat for dinner yesterday, today and probably will tomorrow. (So true!)
You believe Vivaporu (Vick’s Vapor rub) is the cure for EVERYTHING.
You use an old t-shirt, towel, or anything as a mop, and use your feet to mop.
You’ve let some one throw Agua de Florida on you for good luck.
Your house on the island has broken pieces of glass to keep away robbers.
You refer to every cat as “mishu.”
Your parents dressed you up for Halloween as a vaquero (cowboy), campesina (farmer) or gitana (gypsy).
Your refrigerator has about 85 magnets on it.
All your pots and pans are inside the oven.
Your local bodega does lay-a-away/credit plans (fiao).
Your parents ever gave you aceite de bacalao (cod fish oil) when you were sick. (The nightmares are coming back now!)
You’re proud to be Dominican – and you pass these jokes on to all your Dominican friends!?