“Not appropriate for the Shabbos table” is my favorite line (cue sarcasm).

I am going to get a t-shirt with that phrase emblazoned on it (more sarcasm).

But honestly, I’m sick of that phrase. I don’t remember having to compartmentalize as much before I decided to become an Orthodox Jew. But after, oh yeah, so many things became “not appropriate for the Shabbos table.”

Like, what you ask? Well, me. I’m not appropriate for the Shabbos table because I have no qualms talking about things that make people uncomfortable, including me. Miss Manners would probably cough blood if we ever sat at the same table. Sorry, Miss Manners, you may have to muzzle me but good luck trying to get it on me, because I swear I’ll just get ghetto and “throwdown.” I know, what you’re thinking, “her poor husband.”