I am starting to see how much I am changing and how much other people in my life are staying the same. This is somewhat difficult on both sides. Where I am excited about my growing Jewish identification, they are confused or perplexed or they trivialize the things that are becoming more and more important to me. Today, I found myself explaining something about Judaism with delight and I sensed tension on the part of the listener. The tension sprouted from the listener’s inability to accept that any part of Judaism as anything other than just some weird cultish, make-believe THING because the listener has never had any belief in G-d, etc.

As I now spend every week looking towards Shabbat with glee, I find that it also means that I am looking foward towards seeing the people that I have befriended that share my love of Judaism and Jewish identification and, well, G-d. Everyone else and everything else seems make-believe, a show that I have to put on for six days a week. I know this is sort of extreme because I am trying to balance a whole new cultural identity with a life I have already had for twenty-five years where I was the little Dominican-American girl who never really discussed religion. And now I’m different and everyone else is the same.

Igmeister asked me how my friendships are doing and in a sense, they are fine. They haven’t fallen away, they haven’t disappeared but they have changed because I have grown but the friendship hasn’t. It feels as if some of my friendships are trapped in time and it is difficult, almost painful, for them to move forward. Can I be friends with someone that believes that my fundamental beliefs are ludicrous? Make-believe? How close can I ever be to someone who does not understand an integral part of my values? Why wasn’t this an issue when I only believed in G-d? Why does it seem like an issue when I believe in G-d AND Judaism?