My response in “Everyone’s a little bit racist” to a white Jewish friend telling me she wouldn’t marry a black guy, not even a Jewish black guy, was purely emotional. At the time, I felt as if my still beating heart had been ripped out of my body and skewered and barbecued as I watched it standing naked in my skivies. It was brutally personal.
In “Reject guy because he’s black? That’s racism”, a Dear Abby-like post in The Boston Herald’s Lifestyle section, Carolyn Hax just tells it like it is.