It was painful to watch but I couldn’t look away.
The rabbi was having everyone go around the Shabbat table introducing themselves. It started harmlessly enough. But when the rabbi got to the darkest face in the room, it got a little ugly.
“Hello! My name is X and I’m from Israel,” the woman said shyly, standing up and just as quickly, trying to sit back down.
“Wait, where are you from?” the rabbi asked.
“Israel,” she repeated with a broad smile.
“But aren’t you an Ethiopian Jew?” the rabbi asked.
“Um, yes,” the woman said with some discomfort. “But I left Ethopia when I was 3. I don’t know anything about Ethiopia. Only Israel.”
The woman started to sit down again but the rabbi’s voice stopped her.
“Ah, yes, Ethiopia! Wow. Born Jewish? Eh, amazing!” he said.
The woman nodded uncomfortably.
“I love Ethiopian Jews. Every time I see one. I just get so excited,” the rabbi said. He stopped short at the last sentence. He looked a little pained. “Of course, I feel this way when I see Soviet Jews too! And of course, all Jews, yes!” He laughed uncomfortably.
As he spoke, the woman smiled a big painful smile and looked as if she ached to sit down again.
Afterwards, I seethed. I tried to tell myself that I was too sensitive. I wondered if talking about racism was making me racist against ignorant white Jews. I wanted to talk to the rabbi but I didn’t know how to approach him about his impropriety. Instead, I swallowed my anger and I was silent.
Memoirs of a Jewminicana 
Welcome to the world of being a Jew of color. Technically, I would be an Ashkenazi of color because my mother is a part Ashki Jew. However, I am often asked how I am Jewish. It gets old.
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you really should try to find a way to tell the Rabbi. Often ppl make stupid comments like that without realizing how hurtful they are. You’d be doing the Rabbi a favor by pointing it out in a nice way. Seriously. Not everyone is racist…sometimes we’re just stupid 🙂
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It’s not racist against white people to expect them to treat POC with respect. Your friend deserves to be able to go to a Shabbat dinner without becoming the exotic attraction of the evening. I would find a way to gently explain it to the rabbi.You might also talk to the woman about how the felt about it?
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A Jew is Jew! I think you are a little over board with the racism thing. Its just interesting that Jews can be all colors, is what the Rabbi was trying to convey. I think you are sensitive because Dominicans are so overboard with color. They hate themselves just because they are a beautiful shade of olive because their grandmothers taught them they are not white. So shed those chains, and love who you are, a JEW! They are just intrigued with you because you are not the ordinary FFB, nor the Sabra, and would like to know more about your interesting history. Orthodox people know the halachot of gers and know you are just like them or sometimes held at a higher standard.
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I’m going to have to respectfully disagree.
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Yesterday our Bait Knesset featured a Luncheon as part of its annual Shabbaton. At our synagogue it is customary for men and women to sit separately for all seudot. Apparently, on the women’s side a teenage girl approached my wife and commented on the fact that our 7 year old son is adopted from Guatemala. “You don’t see much of that, ” she said.My wife’s rejoinder: “And your point is?”
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I have agree with the above comment. I come from a Dominican family and neighborhood, the racism I see among Dominicans is ridiculous. I’ve seen black Dominicans swear they’re not black, Mulattos swear they’re Taíno Indians, I kid you not. It’s getting ridiculous. And forget about washington heights, once you reach mainland Dominican Republic you’ll probably want to throw yourself off a bridge its so ridiculous. Bottom line, we should just all ease out with the racism bit.
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We cannot erase racism by pretending that it doesn’t exist.
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Notice how everyone whining about how racism doesn’t exist is anonymous.BLAH BLAH I’m not listening no racism here BLAH BLAH BLAH oversensitive POC BLAH and so on.Frankly, it’s annoying, offensive, and it shows an amazing unwillingness to learn.As a Jew of Color, I do not exist to be fetishized, exoticized, petted, etc.As a Puerto Rican woman, with a large, proud Dominican stepfamily, we are fully aware of where our lovely olive, brown, cream, ivory, black skin comes from. Stop the excuses. Examine your own racism and get over it.
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I don’t think anyone is saying pretend it doesn’t exist. But I think we can stop being a little over sensitive about it. Throwing a pity party wont help anyone.I am a Dominican guy who converted 3 years ago. On my first trip to Israel I was invited to a shabbos dinner by a Karliner Chasid. Every single person there wanted to hear my story at the table. It’s a fact that people are curious when they see someone who looks a little different. When it was all said and done many turned a liking to me, and the same Karliner Chasid invited me to a wedding a few days later! And there I was asked even more questions 🙂 Perhaps it would of offended some people but as a convert, come on folks, its to be expected. Jews like us will always have those awkward moments. But we can turn those awkward moments into something nice. I’ve met some wonderful people during these so called awkward moments. The point is it’s all what you make it out to be.
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I think the less sensitive we are, the more it happens. Just because people are curious about a person who looks different doesn’t mean they should act on that curiosity. Honestly, I think part of the problem is that there isn’t enough positive interacting between people of color and whites. POC are always worried about walking on a landmine but whites are often oblivious to racial tensions. What you presented is a completely different issue altogether. Just because you or I feel comfortable telling your story doesn’t mean that every convert or every Jew of color should be put on the spot to represent all converts or all people of color. If the rabbi had asked the woman beforehand if she felt comfortable speaking about her Ethiopian background, I think that the situation I related could have been avoided. All that was needed was a little bit more sensitivity. The automatic assumption is that Jews of color have an interesting story to tell because we are exotic. This is an assumption based on racist ideology: fetishizing what is exotic. I would hazard that there are plenty of brown Jews with boring stories just as there are plenty of white Jews with boring stories.
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There is nothing we can do about it. The fact is people will act on that curiosity. I remember awkward moments with Jews towards BT Jews. If the Baal teshuva are getting this much slack, how can we honestly expect a cake walk. Another point about this is that the particular story happened to someone else, in this case an Ethiopian woman. Have you stepped aside and realized you might possibly be more offended than the Ethiopian woman herself? Who knows, she might even shrugged it off after the dinner, or not. I don’t know. It may not even be that big of a deal to her. Just a thought…..
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So what you’re saying is that if she shrugged it off, I should shrug it off? Is that how racism works? There is only one appropriate reaction? I think that the comments speak for themselves. Let everyone choose their own route in response to racism they see every day, I won’t deny you yours and I won’t be denied mine.
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Don’t be overzealous about it is all I’m saying. You would of thought this story was about yourself you were so distraught. But see it as you may.
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Okay, now I feel like I’m having an argument with my husband? Distraught? I think that a lot gets lost in translation over the Internet.
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“Just because people are curious about a person who looks different doesn’t mean they should act on that curiosity. Honestly, I think part of the problem is that there isn’t enough positive interacting between people of color and whites.”The Jews that are curious do not mean any harm by it, and all Jews feel related to one another, so they ask.
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“We cannot erase racism by pretending that it doesn’t exist.”Racism exists; however, implying that the Rabbi or other Jews who are just curious and just want to know where you are from and know that there may be an interesting background behind the interesting face is not racism and is not insensitivity.
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I think you should listen to more shiurs.
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torahanytime.comlink ladies only, i forgot her name, but theres an interesting story of a convert.another thing, stories of baal teshuvas and gers inspire other jews, thats another reason why they are so into hearing them, it makes them better jews, not just because they are “exotic”, which is not a bad thing to be may i add.many shiurim on that website….go learn….its what we are here for!
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Well, you obviously like to give advice. And you don’t mind being a bit condescending about it. The problem is that POC and Jews of color, whether Jews by birth or Jews by choice, are not mandated to tell their stories to anyone who asks. The rabbi should have asked her privately if she wanted to tell her story. He shouldn’t have put her on the spot. And it is racial bias at play when we decide that every person of color has an interesting story to tell because they are exotic.
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While the rabbi’s gushing over the Ethiopian girl was truly cringe-worthy, it was most definitely not racism. Tactless? Sure. Inappropriate? Yes. Racism? Not by a long shot.
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